Call it Clitbusters. Actually, don’t.
It all started in 1998.
A time capsule home to the invention of the MP3 player, the birth of the iMac computer, the approval of Viagra by the United States Food and Drug Administration… And, the official full discovery of the clitoris.
The clit had been clocked in the past, but it wasn’t until 1998 that it was fully mapped by a Melbourne urologist.
Prior to this, people only referred to the clitoris as the part they could see, but there’s an entire structure under the membrane that is just as important. Discovered by Helen O’Connell, an Australian urologist (hello home-grown pioneer), the full function of the clitoris and its various nerve endings further informed the medical field, academics, therapists, sex educators and masturbators alike. The clitoris has 2-3 times more nerve endings than the penis, and is the most sensitive area of the vulva.
In my work as a sexologist, I spend a lot of time talking about the clit. Given people with clits identify as women, non-binary, male, fluid, or other identities, I always use the term vulva-owners when discussing people who have clits, because the humble clit is just one – albeit very important – part of the vulva. And the vulva is a key part of the external genitalia for people with vaginas.
The clitoris is the centre of the pleasure universe, and there is so much information that a lot of vulva owners – not to mention penis owners – still don’t know.
Here’s my advice on how to maximise your knowledge of, and relationship with, the clit. But first, let’s go over a few quick clit facts.
CLIT FUN FACTS LIGHTNING ROUND
Class is in session:
For vulva owners, the clitoris is the body part generally associated with pleasure and orgasm, more so than any other area of the body.
The clitoris has both external and internal components. And if you were wondering, yes, both can be stimulated.
The glans clitoris and clitoral hood, AKA the parts you see, are made up of a pea-sized structure that sits above the urethra (where you pee) and is covered by a clitoral hood, which can be peeled back. The hood is the long part you can see on your vulva and the glans clitoris is that super sensitive area hiding under the hood.
The clitoral body, vestibular bulbs, and crura, AKA the parts you don’t see, are located behind the vulva. They part under the clitoral hood and split into four leg-like structures around the urethra and vaginal opening. The bulbs are made up of spongy erectile tissue and swell when you’re aroused.
The clitoris also comes in different colours, shapes, textures and sizes. A browse through The Labia Library will explain all (NSFW warning, but it’s definitely worth a look). Showing clients this is one of my favourite parts of sex therapy because of the way it normalises the variety of vulvas abounding, and as a result, helps my clients to embrace and love how their vulva looks. Make sure you check the photo gallery section - it’s full of photographs of real vulvas, all there to educate you on the many wonderful ways they can look.
Personally, my favourite clitoris fact is that when you become turned on, the internal structure and the clitoral hood swell. So you basically get hard – just like a penis owner does.
Feel free to use: “I just got hard/soft/my clitoris is swelling” moving forward – it makes sense. This swelling promotes lubrication – wetness – which greatly improves sensation when you’re stimulated.
CLIT RE-EDUCATION: BUSTING MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT THE CLIT
Call it Clitbusters. Actually, don’t.
The discovery of the full autonomy of the clitoris (internal and external) completely changed the way we looked at the pleasure pathways of the vulva. Vaginal orgasms, particularly those that come from “G-spot” stimulation (the ribbed area 3-5cm inside the vagina, on your belly side - insert your finger and bend them towards your belly and you’ll find it), should more correctly be referred to as clitoral orgasms, as your “G-spot” is actually the back of the internal part of the clitoris.
So yes, this kind of means RIP to “the G-spot” as its own structure. It’s really just your internal clitoris.
And while we are correcting information: Let’s talk about the ongoing debate between clit and vaginal orgasms.
A lot of my straight, female-identifying clients stress to me how they can’t orgasm from penetrative sex. This kind of orgasm is actually only possible for around 30% of vulva owners, yet so many come to me with this desire.
I can’t blame them. As pleasure for vulva owners has historically and continuously been underrepresented, the glorification of vaginal orgasms can be easily linked back to the patriarchy. Penis owners generally get the most pleasure from penetrative sex, so it’s been a suspiciously convenient standard for vulva owners to strive for vaginal orgasms. Rather than trusting their bodies, which would usually lead them to prioritise clit stimulation and thereby clitoral orgasms, many vulva owners have put vaginal orgasms on a pedestal.
It’s misconceptions like this one – that P-in-V orgasms are not just achievable for vulva owners but also the standard – that have led to the orgasm gap. That is, the difference in achieving orgasm between the sexes, specifically during partnered sex. For penis owners, it’s 95% (go off kings!) but for vulva owners, it’s 65% (boohoo!!!). That’s an awfully big gap.
So, let’s remember, the clit is the main character – if we can reprioritise its importance, we might finally see the stats change in a big way.
HOW TO PLEASURE THE CLITORIS
Now that we have our facts straight, we can get to the fun part. While there are a plethora of ways you can pleasure your clit, there are a few ways I always suggest.
FINGER PLAY
To stimulate the external clitoris, use your fingers. With your index finger, tap gently over your clitoral hood and down your outer labia – this is a great way to activate your whole clitoral structure, perfect for getting things going.
You can also try massaging it by cupping your whole palm over your clit and labia (similar to how your hand sits over a computer mouse) and moving your whole hand in a circular motion. Or, gently massaging the labia with your thumb.
People often forget that fingering your clit is far more than just fingers on the hood, there’s a whole internal and external structure you can work with.
In terms of clitoral hood stimulation, you can try clitoral wanking – where you place your fingers either side of your clitoral hood and gently lift it up and down. From here you can then move on to change it up by moving your fingers along the entire length of the hood, both in an upwards and downwards direction. Try slow motions, increasing as necessary. It’s all really hot and will feel like a bit of a tease because you aren’t touching your hood directly, you’re flanked on either side.
As I said, don’t forget the internal clit too. You can also stimulate it from the inside. Try a come hither motion, where you run your fingers along the length of that rigid patch of skin inside the vagina. This is that “g-spot” area we’ve been talking about.
In slow motions, rub your fingers along the length of that patch, like you’re signalling someone to come over to you. You can also use your fingers by pressing down in pulses on the area, varying the speed and depth of the pulse as you like. Another great one is drawing figure 8s on your G-spot as it shows your whole area some love. And for extra fingering fun, try out that internal stimulation WHILE you use one of the vulva tips I mentioned before.
USING TOYS FOR CLITORAL STIMULATION
Don’t forget you can use toys, too. Air suction toys, vibrators and solid metal or glass ones are the most popular.
Air suction toys
For those who struggle to orgasm, air suction toys are a great option. They work by drawing blood behind your clit via a “sucking” motion. This rush of blood to your genitals is also known as engorgement, and is a natural process that happens when you become aroused and experience an orgasm. You can use this type of toy by placing it over your clit and adjusting the vibration mode or intensity to suit your liking.
Vibrators
The classic. If you love a vibrator, there are plenty of options available, and the bonus is they usually double up to stimulate your nipples, vagina, and with correct hygiene, around your anus, too (i.e. always clean after changing holes!!). You can use a vibe by moving it down along your labia, pulsing on your clitoral hood or, if the toy allows, stimulating the back of the clit (the “g-spot”) from inside your vagina. I suggest starting on a low vibration and slowly working your way up.
Glass or metal wands
There’s also a whole host of solid toys, like metal and glass wands. These toys usually have weight to them, which makes them a great tool for massaging the labia and clitoral hood. The weight helps it to feel more lifelike and increases the pressure of the stimulation. As these materials can be heated or cooled, you can also experiment with temperature play, which adds a fun sensory element to clit stimulation. Whether it’s an icy, cooling affect or a pinching, heated affect, it creates a contrast to your body temperature so you feel the sensation more.
More help…?
While these techniques are a good starting point, there’s truly an infinite number of ways you can play with your clit.
If you are an avid student, take a look at KAMA or OMGYES for more pleasure techniques. These are an app and website, respectively, that give video tutorials on ways to pleasure the clit, among other parts of the body. I recommend these resources to most of my clients. Especially those with clit owning partners ;).
So, now there’s no excuses. Start prioritising your clit, utilise its capacity for fantastic orgasms, teach your penis owning counterparts about it and subtly, or not so subtly, tell everyone the clit is where it’s AT.